Guess what... I'm in camp now. And I'm like 13 hrs away from my first common test paper (Investment). Sadly but really... it sucks to have a paper on a Saturday afternoon, over the weekend.

It's one hell of a week for me... sleeping later and later each day... burning my life away and it will not be any better for the next two weeks. Anyway, it's been on-going for about 3 years now. It's really cool sometimes, yet tiring.

The leaders council are now in the room watching Meet The Spartans. Well, another leaders gathering to enjoy the presence of each other as well as to bond the brotherhood too. Our leaders ranging from a going-to-be-father to a young rebel. A mixed of personality being from gentle to super aggressive (me?) haha.

Anyway to my suicide date... haha showing weakness to others maybe be bad sometimes... however not all the times. Being confident is always good. As being confident, you will influence peers and friends around you. It's really cool to see friends around you sharing the joy and happiness each day. That's life... live it, feel it and be happy about it. Nothing is more negative than feeling negative about matters.

To that little girl... saying that those words, may seem foolish however I mean it. I may not know what actions to take for now, or... i may never know what to do. Seriously, I need a guide for dummies: love relationship. Waha. Maybe?

Inspiration of the day: Hmmm haha one life, live it.

Reason being that God gave us one life... although I know that some beliefs may say that there are after-life and previous lives... however, today at present, you gonna live your life fully and happily. It ain't easy on this unfair and unjust world. However, we always make do with what we have or work for what we want to achieve.

I was taught through my years in secondary school, through the motto of "We believe we can achieve". I followed that through my N levels and O levels. And am still following through in my life.

So live your life. Be yourself. :)

Two days of power packed of birthdays and anniversary. Let's see...

26th of May 2008:
Happy Birthday to Ms Pei Shi and Wolf
And the most important day for the White Stag Scout Unit!! Happy Anniversary.

27th of May 2008:
Happy Birthday to Crab, Mr Gerald and Ms Yu Yi...

It's sometimes so cool to find someone that shares the same birthday as you... provided the person isn't someone that you dislike.

Anyway, the reason that I'm up so early was due to the E-chat for my treasury module imposed by my lecturer. It's E-learning week thus there isn't any school (physically). And the ultimate problem I'm having now is ... preparation for my common test and quiz. Talking about scoring well for this semester so that I can be at the safe zone of about 3.5 and above GPA average... seems so far and distance. Let's just pray that God will save me as he always does.

Guess what... during my 'N' and 'O' level days, I guess it was the time when I spoke to God almost daily. It's like a buddy to talk with, whenever I faces a problem, be it in studies or relationship. I will just talk to him, wait for him to give a sign and move in with that sign. However, these days, it seems that I've lost touch in it. Well, it's never too late to get back again. :)

Anyway, those who are interested in knowing how to use Bloomberg program more efficiently, there is a free seminar or workshop to guide you in the short-cuts and the basic functions of the program. However, it's not heavily advertise... thus the only way to sign up for the course is via the Bloomberg station, located in some polytechnics and workplaces. It's really interesting to see big shots around.

Take for an example, I was there yesterday for the Technical Analysis Workshop to understand the meaning of graphs and how to see the highs and lows of the graph to determine the time to buy or sell shares. Just before I got into the building with my buddy. A man and his bodyguards walked into the building before us. It's like 3 steps away from us. I was wondering, maybe he is the director or what. However, when I entered the room and saw the news... he was there on 'live' footage from the media room. The President of East Timor, Mr Jose Ramos-Horta. My jaw dropped immediately. How rare is it to see a President of another country walking so near you. I know it's not like President Bush or anything... however, it's seem a rare occurrence.

Ok, I think that I'm going to start a revamp on my blog soon. When I have time, that's for sure. To include several items such as:

1. Places to visit
2. Eat-outs you can't miss
3. Seminars and Workshops
4. Upcoming events... and maybe more.

Well... if you have any ideal place to visit, just pop by the tag station to state the location and reason. No hanky panky places eh.

Awesome Awesome Awesome... That's the kinda moment I needed between those heavy load of work I'm facing each day. Hillsongs really blow my mind away with 3 hours of non-stop hits and praising and worshipping. Let's say that I'm not really a church-goer... however come to Hillsongs... I'm absolutely a fan.

Well, I do see some weird stuff happening at the concert though... take for an example. A couple, as young as 13 to 14 years old, PDA-ing in front of me. The boy's hands was totally all over of the girl's body. Plus... underage smoking... I was kinda pissed at the sight. However, my cousin told me... God loves them too. That made me think, yeah, since God can forgive and love them... me being a heavenly brother to them, should do so too. So I just kept my gap shut.

Anyway, the night was always so great to experience Hillsongs. Jumping, shouting, singing, praising, worshipping, fellowship, cousin-ship (if there is such a word) and brotherhood. Haha. one-of-a-kind family activity that I hope will continue.

Well... to my buddy. I do not know what's happening to your life now. Why you're always so uptight with your financial or your problems. Maybe, I didn't know it at all in the first place. Whatever it is, I'm doing this willingly... I do not know why but it's just instinct or maybe God that's telling me... go ahead and help her. But understand that it's helping you and only you, not anyone else that you intend to help. It's no longer what it used to be... it's a new beginning among us again.

Well, i know this one crazy girl that had her leg injured coz' she was so overworked and loaded. Yet die die also wants to carry on with her already packed activities. (That's so singlish). Anyway whatever it is... she's really one crazy suicide partner... or some might call her 'my hot date?' haha.

It's fun to be so free in life sometimes... not meaning about relationship but, to make time to do things that you will live not regretting for.

Anyway dearest wombat, it's a lame excuse to date a girl out using that one liner again. A1 to bring her out... tried that before boy... it never works. haha I still remembered your method of asking Ms Panda's handphone number. What did ya say again... Can I have your number please, you cannot say no. Haha... that's one ultimate liner that I will never use for a girl. I think I will scare any girl for that. Anyway, good try... let me give you a pat on your back the next time I see you.

Ok, to that little girl that I was teasing with on Saturday afternoon, about say that if you and your boy are getting together, I might not have a chance already. Well... I guess Hippo knows who's that. I might have already lost that chance in the first place.

Anyway, Good luck and have faith to those kiddies and peeps, who are going to face their 'O' level MT examinations tomorrow. Mine was long gone... no worries... to make things better, I've got D7 for it. :) haha

Busy busy busy... that's the kinda life I'm living each day. Filled with activities from morning till night, as well as overnight.

Well, just came back from Singapore Youth Festival (SYF) contingent training a while ago. It's my first experience at SYF at NCC House (Amoy Quee Camp). So I'm kinda like a virgin in those areas, especially in my role as the Dy Event Coordinator. Since, due to some administrative over lapse in HQ. The contingent participants weren't able to attend for the rehearsal today.

I was kinda sleepy through-out the training despite the hot weather that was taking away the life of those kids standing in the heat. Seeing them marching and coordinating to perfect their timing so as to give their best performance that will only last for a few minutes on the actual day, reminds me of myself during my hay days.

Struggling to stay alive in the heat and looking the best that I can be, so that some hot chicks/ sugar mummy may notice me and pick me up. Haha just kidding... I don't have that ability. Anyway it really shows how determine these kids are to carry on and on with the training despite the 'suffering' they were receiving. Maybe it's for the pride of the organization they are coming from. Truly, cream of the crop, in upholding their organization's reputation and ego.

However, I do have to say that I've experience my fair share of how a few members from a particular organization mocking other organization's members that were out there marching. Complaining that the marching was lousy and the timing and coordinating was poor and such. I do have that temptation to move out and tell the leaders off for making such comments, especially it's the boys and girls that were marching their energy off out there in the parade square. What are they to make such a comment? Are they that competent enough to run the event as they claim others are not doing it up to their standard? This shows the lack of maturity among them.

I do have to say that I admire this particular participant from the girl guide. She was a newbie in handling the flag bearer position and had a tough time learning to support the heavy weight of the pole, with the timing included. However, she was so determine to carry on learning with humility... within 1 hour of practicing with the other members, there was a significant improvement as compared to before. Even though, I do have to comment that she was kinda hack-care initially and during marching, but her determination to learn and improve was far greater than that. Go go go!!

Well, it's another busy week to come as preparation for common test and quizzes and competitions and lesson plans for training have yet to be done. Temper improving bit by bit... yeah, I guess it's just those days that my screws have gone loose for a moment and it's being fixed back again...

Anyway Wolf, was talking to me about people development. He said that the greatest ability is to develop people. I was thinking, if I had such an ability already, how come my scouts doesn't seem like they have developed much? Or maybe my standard and expectation of them is too high too.

Developing people into good and useful citizen... how do I go about it? Will I be able to take up that challenge? I do not know...

Well, off to Hillsongs Concert now... Be back to tell about it!!

Just watched this interesting movie, "St-Trinians" (2007). Well, at first glance, I thought it was very off and weird. However, continued watching it and realised, it was quite an entertaining show actually. It's all about girls (1) and it's got all types such as emo, goth, geeks, nerds and stuff. It was about this group of girls, doing the wackiest things to keep the school going. It just reminds me of a cat-fight.

Anyway, I guess it's the weather and my body overloading again Been having nose bleeding for the past 2 days. It's heavy flow of blood, from my nose. Argh, it sucks as it affects my breathing and it chokes my throat sometimes. Let it be healed...

It's been a frustrating day... more things to do, more bad news to come. I'm quite judgemental actually. Once I do not like a particular person, it will take me a seriously long time to accept him or her. This is especially so for people who gets on my nerves... some people... I'm learning though, to control and that first impression doesn't always counts.

This is her last week working at F&C... after-which, there isn't anyone for me to talk with, play with, bully at... It's sad seeing her go, however, it's also the best for her life.Sticking around at one place too long and doing things routinely, will get the person sick of the job sometimes. Life needs to be filled with varieties... and fun, loving people. I wonder, what's next?

My suicide partner... really suicidal and a tough-nut. So determined and driven that she could forfeit her rest to complete her tutorials to ensure that her group has something proper to present in class. Yeap, knowing that she needs lots of rest from the whole day out. Sorry, for not picking up your calls when you're in trouble and that I can't be there to help you at that moment.

I do have to apologised to several people actually. I guess it's the time of the year where my temper will be going over the top soon. Seriously, I'm kinda sick and tired of NATO and stuff. It's not to make things difficult by stirring up trouble. But more like allowing you guys to realise that it takes much commitment and action plan to get things going, rather than announcing something big and in the end, no one is willing to do it and commit the time to go for it. What's the point of announcing it and making a big point about the event?

Not being petty here, but maybe we can zoom back to 2007 beginning... bag-pack trip around Malaysia for a week. We talked about it once. When the time arrived, no one did anything, including myself.

2008 beginning, BT Hill... big talks, confirmation done. Then, gone. Not prepared? Our motto instead, "Be Prepared".

2008 Mid, bag-pack trip to Malaysia and Thailand... if we're serious about it... let's save up, buy the things, plan the route, get the documents done. And off we go. to havoc or to enjoy, whatever it is... To get out of the city and school...

Seriously, after next year... I'll seriously slow down. Down to the point that when I find out the purpose of me in scouting again... then shall I return back to scouting. It defeats the purpose of coming back to scouting For The Unit... and not knowing how to really assist the Unit to it's maximum potential. Argh... frustrating.

Yeap, seriously, hack Nationals. For the Unit and For the brothers and sister in the District. We are the best, just screw the rest!! ST-Trinians Chant!!

Today is customer service combo day. Seriously, experiencing face to face customers at one end and virtual customers on the other. What a day!

Okay, finally, I've been put into a team under a supervisor, whom was nicked 'The Witch'. Well, she's ain't bad as they said. However, she's equally fierce and pressurizing to work for. NPCC lady v.s. Scout boy! Fight!

I think I'm addicted to Subway and Carl's Jr. Man... think of fast-food and these two came into my mind instead of KFC and McDonald's. Weird though, as McDonald's and KFC are larger franchise as compared to Subway and Carl's Jr. Ever wonder, that if McDonald's didn't succeed in the past, will there be a favourite eat-out place among people around the World. This excludes the McPork found in Japan and Thailand. Weird! Soon there maybe McGoat, McDeer and McCrocs. Ewww

Okay, I'm starting this new thing on my blog. My schedule for the week. To serve as a reminder for myself as well as those who wants to book me in advance. Let's see:

Monday:
C.C. - 9 am to 5 pm
F & C - 7 pm to 9 pm

Tuesday:
Collecting Helmet from Ah Ming's GF
Meeting DPCC team members (Siglap)

Wednesday:
2B Practical 1 - 4:25 pm to 6:05 pm (Wish me Luck)
Opening personal bank account

Thursday:
Presentation of WISP
HQ - preparation for District Council
F & C - 5 pm to 10 pm

Friday:
District Council - 7 pm to 8:30 pm

Saturday:
SYF Meeting??
Hillsongs Concert at Max P. (Can't wait for it!!)

Sunday:
Rest Day/ Family Day

Yeap, yeap... next week's schedule should be out soon... another packed week ahead!

The week is one of the busiest and tiring one since the year had began. Well all work and no play makes Marlin a dull fish. No worries, I'm not dull yet... however if this carries on, I'll be one in no time.

Warning: Politically sensitive topics ahead!

Okay, the news had been playing on and on about the natural disasters in China and Myanmar. Well, both countries had one thing in common, which is the reluctance of allowing foreigners to assist in their countries' relief efforts. China, over the past decade has been slowly moving to allow foreigners to assist in their country, however foreign restriction is still largely in place.

Myanmar, being a country that has been targeted for humanitarian cruelty and such, has been hostile to foreign countries too. This can been clearly seen by the whole World, even without the media increasing publicizing it.

Is it the ego and pride of the country at stake? or is it the government's pride and ego at stake? Will it cause the country to collapse beyond hope if foreign aid comes into the country to allow the country to recover? Or are the people nothing to the country at all?

People are suffering from lack of necessity, comfort and lost of love ones from the event. Yet, instead of providing maximum relief efforts for theses victims, it seems that due to political and strain relationship among countries assisting, that causes the relief efforts to be slowed down and resulted in the victims to suffer even longer.

It's my opinion that people comes first, as the country becomes a country when the people living it in agrees so. The country is make up of people that are called citizens.

Seeing the news of the young Singaporean girl commenting that foreign competitors are a threat in Singapore's education system. Well, isn't competition the main criteria to allow people to constantly improve themselves to stay ahead of others. The world isn't made fair and square. It's round.

I do agree with her when I was younger that these foreigners are really taking up the spaces of the top few spots in schools. It can be irritating to a certain extent when you are about to be in the top 10% of the school cohort to receive the edusave scholarship award of $350, and yet the foreigners who do not have the right to claim such award, takes up the spot.

However, knowing that these students are here to compete, it not only spurs local students to study better and more tactfully... but also to allow local students to see that the World out there is just like this. Competition competition competition... unless you are a child that is born with a silver or gold spoon in your mouth, you have to compete to stay ahead and alive in the society.

Thus, by discriminating foreign students as a threat, why not accept them as assets to the country and in your life. Learn from them and improve from there. The World you see from the classroom window is incomparable from the World they have seen before coming to Singapore.

Well, basically, theses are just my point of views for the both topics.
Well, spammers are attention seeking arseholes that has a tons of time to waste in their life. I wonder why they have so much time to waste, where as others have so little time to spare for themselves. I need a break soon... away from the city and off to the country-side... or back to the ocean...

The time has began for the projects to start rolling as well as assignments to be due. Haha, I can sense a heavy storm ahead... need to gear myself well to fight it.

Natural disasters occurring one after another. First in Myanmar, then in China. I wonder is it an Act of God, or is it just the World deteriorating due to environmental and human factors. It's scary to think that we are studying hard in our comfort zone, whereby others are fighting for their lives trying to recover what they have lost. I wonder, one day, if Singapore were to experience such a disaster, will the young generation be prepared to live each day without the daily comfort? Would we recover ourselves as quickly as possible?

I'm glad she found someone that can take care of her. Well, like what I tell my mei mei(s) and jie jie(s) about, if the person was to hurt them, I would hunt them down. I would never want to see my sisters being hurt or upset as much as possible. I don't know why, but I just don't like it.

Anyway, life has been rather routine for these few days, thus there isn't much happenings going on. It's just that I've been eating a lot... the largest eat-out for the week was at Hanabi Japanese Restaurant. The restaurant was having a buffet for about $30++ per pax, sashimi is included as well as udon and don. The guys and me, waited till 6pm (starting time) and ended our eat-out at 930pm. So, we practically ate and ate till about 930pm. Worth the time spent, worth the money spent.

I'm thinking, what's next on my list of places to visit and eat-out again...

It's weird sometimes when people looked for you for advise and speak you speak to people about what should be done and how you should follow your heart and take that bold step forward, and when it comes around for you to be in the situation... you walked the same path as most of them. Feared and whatever advice given before seems so foreign and unknown.

You told me to F-ing go after the girl I like now... you told me to stop thinking and just go ahead even if the uncertainty of approval or rejection is present. Yet, in your blog, you shown that you didn't even tried to take that step and as usual held on the strong-will and silly front to the boy you love so much that he breaks your heart. Haha, I wonder, did I have that effect on you before? It doesn't matter now nor anymore. What matters more is you doing what you say. What's with the ego in the relationship? No ego, no hiding of truth that's what a relationship is about right? I know what you are thinking now... chances are you will be cursing and swearing at me asking to keep my mouth shut even though I do not know the entire situation. Well, I'll keep my mouth shut and stand by the side... but I'll be there when you need me. Buddy.

The dates are getting closer, yet there isn't any reply... I guess the extra ticket, I'll just ask my beloved mei mei to pass it to her. Sh*t, it sucks.

I guess sometimes in life, when you want to help or assist someone you care for and love for, people will take the extra effort and mile to go about doing things. Take for example, if any of my God-sister is in need, be it financial or emotional, I would try my best to be there for them. To let them know that there is someone they can turn to and listen to them.

For me, I prefer to keep things to myself, be it secret of others, personal secrets, sorrows, problems. But things I would like to share about are smiles, happy memories and experience. I hope to be a person that is poor on the outside but rich on the inside. :)

Today is Mother's day... Happy Mother's day to all Mums out there. It's a blessing to have a Mum and at the same time to have a child. The reciprocal love is incomparable to the love shared between lovers. Yeap, I pray my Dad will settle someday with a woman that is worthy to be with him for the rest of his days. It doesn't matter if I dislike the woman a not, as long as he is happy and enjoy his life with her accompany... that will allow me to rest assure of matters.

For me... hmm marrying seems so near yet so far. Seeing friends getting married and stuff... makes me fearful of the uncertainties ahead. So many marriage failure, so many family problems, so many financial problems, so many short-lived love relationship... how can I trust that the next one will be the last one? I can only trust that God has arrange my life for me.

Troublesome troublesome troublesome... why not live life happily and simply rather than to complicate it with thoughts of uncertainty and guessing? Haix

After each project, the memories of the hard work and effort put in by everyone, regardless the amount... can be so sweet. Just for those moments, I would do my best for it.

I've been 'attacked' again. It was during one of the most rare moments for the past few years... napping in the afternoon. It was Wednesday afternoon, I switched on my air-con (quite rare too, during the day) and my lappy to update several stuff.

After which, I dragged the beany bag into the room and slept on the floor with it. I dozed off immediately, however, minutes later... I felt my chest being very heavy as though there were people pulling me down. I hate a little nightmare of devilish fiends around me. I tried pulling myself out, however I couldn't even lift my finger. It took me a long time to try to sort out my thoughts and cried, "God, save me...' before the ordeal ended.

I guess it's another calling for my lack of faith and commitment to God, these days. When was the last time, I talked to him daily? I can't remember it. Being 'attack' was quite a common thing to me actually, however, it normally happened at night... this time, it's in the day. I wonder what's happening to me?

Anyway, I was quite taken aback when my suicide partner called me. She sounded really sick and yet I was quite guilty as my dad drove me to school, thus I can't be at the bus-stop for her. I thought, who could I rely on to take care of her at the moment. I guess God did send a buddy there. Well, knowing she is so strong-headed and determine to stay in school, I needed to rope in more friends to help convince her to go home. Anyway she stayed... silly. I pray she's doing fine now... :)

Taking up another project soon for Scou Ting... however pending approval from my leaders to give the green light to go ahead as a representative from the Unit. SYF parade 2008... anyone interested to be in the contingent?

Two ladies asked me some questions a few days back... One asked me about retaining her job at Fishy or moving on to another job? and the other asked me whether to purchase a NDS despite the disapproval from her parent.

Well, I asked them back another question... "If you make a choice, make one that you will be happy about it and no regrets about it. If moving on to another job would allow you to be happier, move on. If purchasing the NDS, would entertain you and make you happy, buy it." Isn't the logic simple or was it me being naive and silly again? I know that life isn't as simple as I thought it would be. There are always opportunities forgone and decisions to make that would change your life forever. But since we know life's so complicated, why can't we take a step back to make it simpler? To make yourself feel more comfortable in living on this puny planet...

Suddenly, I felt lost for the first time as a leader. Somehow, the objective of training wasn't right. The atmostphere wasn't there. The planning seems solid on the outside, weak on the inside. I'm wondering if I am really capable of guiding these kids down the right path? Or am I just whecking their lives away? It's a heavy responsiblity, especially when you hope to see your kids going the out into the society to contribute as a good and useful citizen... not end up on the newspaper for some crime or infamous story.

It's going to get tougher... and the tougher it is ... the more challenge there is. I still think there is enough stamina for each challenge... anyway the supplier for the stamina is always with me. Suddenly, I miss the Father. Haha, am I lying to myself? Nope...

What kinda sweetness you would like to experience again, turtle? Love...? haha...

Kiddies... two choices!! Donuts or Pizzas? Don't want later got buns, or cakes or otah and sort coming out of the list. I'm not a billionaire's son! I'm Marlin... poor Marlin. So yeah... Huda, don't worry, I'll ensure there are leftovers for you, haha. So whose coming for the camp? Waiman? Euodia? Aeti? .... Whose going accompany me?? since SOMEONE already declare she will accompany Hippo...

Enough said... let the action being!

Haven't been sleeping well these days.. lots of late nights trying to complete my tutorials and other matters. Of cos' there's distraction such as my anime watching and manga reading... I found a new buddy who is also interested in both hobbies, he's dolphin!! Woah! I think Jedi would love him too, as he is also a Star Wars die-hard fan.

Anyway, Turtle was 'scolding' me that night. For about an hour, right? Haha, she's been asking me to try to confess my feelings to the girl I like and not to make the mistakes I made in the past relationship. Haiyo, she sounds like a granny... haha no worries, I will not be left on the shelves one. Either I marry early or I die early... haha

Anything interesting about Singapore currently? Except for the weather temperature increasing and the on-off showers now and then... There aren't much of a serious thing going on.

I so looking forward to December this year end. She's coming back!! Yeah yeah yeah... haha I told her that since I do not have any girlfriend(s) [haha kidding eh, I'm not so lucky one, unlike one of the Kiddies eh...], I would book those days off, to go out with her and the gang to have fun. Puffer fish, that's her name. Cos' she could do the opening and closing of her lips while her mouth is 'blown' up. I can still remember that face of hers.

Counting down to Hillsongs United Concert... not exactly counting down for the concert but on her reply to see if she's going. I do not know why I still hold on... Mei mei was psycho-ing me to give her up. I guess sometimes, when we tried so hard to keep in contact that ensure that our friendship remains, it's not as easy as it seems. The last time I went out with her was during the last Hillsongs United Concert in 2006. Every time the train would go past Redhill MRT station, my eyes would search for her. Even a glimpse of her would satisfy my heart that she's there physically. Haha, 2 years plus that I've been travelling to school and not once did I manage to see her physically. Maybe within one more year, it might work??

To my suicide partner, before anything happens, haha cool down first... take 3 long breathe (of cos' please exhale too!!) and sit down and chill. Hehe... pray that you recover instantly!!
Anyway, whatever you want to do in front of me... simple thing is just to be yourselves. No need to loosen out if you do not want to, do not need to break down if you want to, do not need to carry the burden unnecessary as even Jesus said, " that He'll take away the Yoke and ensure you are free from any burden in life"... Don't ask me why I'm doing all these for you... It's just based on my sixth sense or more like gut feeling. It may last, it maybe just for a short period of time. Whatever it is, I do treasure it... regardless the outcome of the friendship. :) Wahh touching right, don't tear ok! nor don't laugh till you drop!!

Okay, DPC 08 is coming and it's going to get busier! I need volunteers!! Kiddies, on or off? Waiman, pizzas eh!! :)

"Have you ever thought for a moment that I might fall in love with you, girl?"

Hot hot hot... Singapore is getting hotter and hotter each day! Summer's time is coming...

Anyway, I hate to say this, but... I really dislike the timing that I put myself in most of the time. I am able to create such a happy moment, yet crash it seconds later. It's always the case and it sucks BIG time. What can I do?

So many flaws that can be amended yet, it reminds unchanged. Not now, not in the future periods. God help me!!

In life, there are decisions to make, rules to follow and principles to guide. However, opportunities are always present for people to take it or leave it. There are lots of opportunities in my life... so much so that I felt that I'm giving them up one at a time. Be it for my future career or love life or relationships. If there is a single fool in the world, I guess that's me...

Say for an example, people asked me, why do I want to continue working at Fishy instead of the bank? Then I told them, it's for friends... then I told them the reason for working is for friends mostly. Then again they asked me, why work at the bank on weekends only when the pay is twice? Then I said, it's for the money. Haha, ain't it contradicting?

My guess is that since I've a longer standing relationship with my friends at Fishy, therefore, it's for them... however at the bank, it's only with my classmates and my supervisor. There isn't much choices why I should work there for friends, cos' there isn't much closeness.

Anyway it's confusing and complicated working relationship. When it's time to give up the work, I will do so.

Haha, like bullfighing... Yi Shen Xue says: "Basketball is 3 on 3, however when it comes to relationship, it's 1 on 1. No matter how good your friends are to help you, it's up to the 2 in the relationship to settle it." Omg... I sound so much like my suicide partner. Haha... kidding. Well, I got to agree on that! No matter how difficult the love is going, it all comes down to the 2 person involve in it.

You asked me how does it felt when you tell me stuff about how you feel about that boy?
Yeah honestly, it sucks, as it brings back lots of bitter-sweet memories. However at the same time I'm happy for you as you are happily in love. That's what I replied you. Seriously, I never like being the third party interference in relationship. It sucks... however, the World was made in such a way that love never last forever. There will be a moment that love is lost and never recovered again and at the same time, someone else will appear and stole your heart away. It happen once, twice and I doubt it will stop. I guess, there's no way it's going to stick with me ...

The time's never right, I guess. Thus, that's why I hope the time will just pass by quickly till I return to the dust. The World is never a place worth living unless there's a motive behind it. Be it for someone, for something or for a belief that it will change for the better.

Looking at the World today, where money and oil rules and all others fails. It's sad to see that coming. Argh, it's so frustrating in life to see money as the root of all evilness, where families break up because of a blardy will and distribution of wealth... where brothers kill each other for the sake of wealth... where friendship are destroyed due to money. Why?

Am I just part of this group of insane people? Greedy and thoughtless arseholes that feel money and live money and eat money as though it will grant them power in life? It's not communism thinking that all should be equal in life. Neither is it the rich gets richer and poor gets poorer in life kinda mentality. It's just that life is more than just riches and power.

A rich man can be the poorest man on Earth in other aspects of life, whereas a poor man can be the richest man on Earth too. It's the kinda question, whether the chick came first or the egg? It's stupid. I do wish that in my social circle at least, there aren't anyone that is guilty of the thoughts of 'stealing' other's money. If it's money, earn it using your own effort, not the effort of others. Even if you have to distribute tasks to others to do in order to earn that money, ensure that the person assisting is well-paid based on his assistance.

Damn it.

I remember the slogan that my god-sisters and I lived by, during our secondary school days. A simple slogan to make our days as well as to remind ourselves that we are there to support each other.

" You happy, I Happy... You sad, I sad..."

Generally, it means to me that through thick and thin, we shall go through it together. No one is being left behind. That's what family is meant to me. No one is left behind.

An example, that female monkey... she's one of the closest younger sister I have. Although I do worry about her sometimes, however, she had that magical touch in my life whereby my worries and frustration will go away temporary while interacting with her silliness and nonsensical talks.

Another example would be Gorilla Jie, my pillar of support during the time spent with her for that short 3 years period in school. An elder sister that looks out for me, advices me in problems and never fails to care and concern for me.

Well, I do have to apologise to my suicide partner... haha, don't mis-understand that phrase meaning... Yeah, you're not my god-sister and neither am I treating you as one. So, chill girl :).

Currently, I still attached for the third day. It seems to be reaching it's climax soon. I hope it doesn't get worse any further. I just dislike the irritation in the throat and the coughing. Sometimes, I do feel like I am coughing out my heart...

Then maybe Shanny would be able to eat curry chicken soon!! Wahah.

It's just another random blog entry today. I guess being a little childish these days, does affect the inspirational words to write about. Let the Lord decide the topic tomorrow. Amen

Boo hoo hoo.. I'm still attached currently... lots of brain juice flowing out of my nose!! haha. I'm gonna flood my room soon.

It was tough day, ever since I woke up till now presently. I was practically dragging my feet to school, to work and back home. Not much smiles and laughter...

However, it was a day that memories do flow back. Bitter-sweet memories of my first working experience. I was chatting with Shirley and Kin at our usual spot. Then, at one point, Kin raised the point of working as being ourselves. Ain't that the most passionate part in working? To be able to work as of yourselves?

Well, I remembered my first day. I thought that I was done for it and never returned to that outlet or even step 10m radius from it. It was a very busy Monday night. There was practically a queue outside the outlet. I was panicking as I see the faces of the customers. And I do not know anyone at the workplace! However, I still push through and carried on working and believing that each day will be better. Sure it does, one way or another. Lots of opportunities to learn more things and understand about F&B services better.

I was thinking while working today. My Uncle told me to quit my F&B job as it serves no purpose to me in my course of study. However, I was thinking, isn't interacting with the customer upfront, the basic and best method to obtain first-hand information of the customer's needs and wants? Well, I hate to say this, however, as some grew richer and status kinda sh*t gets too much into the brain, the connection with the ground seems to be gone.

Well, enough of this. Let's see how tomorrow's work at the Bank is like...

Reading the Daily Devotional messages by Rick Warren, a famous pastor from Saddleback Church in US as well as the author for the book Purpose Driven Life, I came across the phrase that I thought might be useful for some of the readers.

"Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is going ahead and doing what you’re called to do in spite of your fear."

I totally agree with this statement. Reason being that even with Courage, there is still fear present due to uncertainty. It may be the uncertain outcome of your actions... uncertain responds from the other party or any other stuff that might spoilt the ideal situation you hope to have... Sh*t happens, that's all.

Loving each day, that's all it matters! Ain't no worries...

Okay, tomorrow's blog will be on... let me see, loving difficult people! Haha... or is there a specific subject that the kiddies or anyone else would like me to say about? Hehe...

NO LOVE DEDICATION ON MY BLOG OR TAG EH!! haha reminder reminder... who knows someone might just drop by to see?

It' official... I'm attached!

Yeap, attached to a feeling of feverish-ism and runny nose. I guess that my life span had just shorten by a feel more centimeters. It sucks to feel sick at such a time or all the time.

Another unexpected day during work. I guess sometimes 'hitting' someone accidentally, has it's good points too. I do not mean to punch or hit someone literally. Well, I was trying to squeeze through chairs of people, who are not overly big in size, yet sit as though they need lots of spaces. My butt accidentally 'brushed' across a lady's back and I was so erm... embarrass about it. I, immediately, turned to apologise quite a few times. After which, she asked for my name. I thought that she wanted to complain to my manager of the incident. However, she told me that she wanted to write me a compliment. I was quite skeptical about it, as I thought that she wanted to write a complain instead. So I though, well hack it and just gave her my server name card.

After which, I continued working till my manager called me. I was feeling... damn, there goes... I'm gonna get nagged by her. However, she showed me, my name card saying: "He has a cheerful smile during his service to us. Keep up the good work." ... At that moment, my jaw dropped. I thought, did I ever service that table? I don't think so... I guess, at that moment she saw me smiling, maybe the times when I am either laughing at someone, or after teasing a friend at the workplace. Whatever it is, she's the first to say that I had a cheerful smile. I always thought I smile terribly.

Anyway the second one, was the biggest embarrassment of the night. I was trying to maneuver my arm to place the food down. However, when I tilt my body to the left and arm swing to back, it hit a customer on his head. I felt that, and I thought, this is bad. He's going to blow up... well, I thought he would as he had that don't pissed me off now kinda look. I apologised again many times, this time round. In the end, he smiled at me and teased me about treating him a drink for that blow on his head. I was ready to say okay... as long as it doesn't leads to any other complaints or blow-ups. However, he was just kidding and continued his dinner happily. It was a close-call to me... phew.

Ok enough of the workplace for now...

Time is going to get faster and faster from next week onwards as major activities of my life is going to get started again. Got to work less, study moderately and scouting more. Haha, it's weird though.

A friend asked me what's so special about scouting. I thought about it. I said, it's nothing special. It's just an enjoyment in learning ... I meant two-way learning. Reason being two-way learning, as you learned from the the seniors and juniors at the same time. Many will asked... how do you learn from juniors, who have less experienced and knowledge?

My take is that, despite the lack of experienced and knowledge, they do not lack creative thinking and weird ideas, that may seem more effective compared to traditional methods. Seriously! Ask the kiddies, how they inspired me!!

Currently as I'm typing, my suicide date is reading too. Haha, she's so free!! Woah!

Hillsongs concert is set. Tickets brought, time and location settled. Just need to wait for that beautiful twin reply if she is going a now. If she's not going, I would have to ... I don't know. I pray really (x 999) that she will come for it. :)

Ok then... time to plug in more tissues into my nose to prevent any leakage. I hope I'm not losing brain juices from my nose... Argh