I've been 'attacked' again. It was during one of the most rare moments for the past few years... napping in the afternoon. It was Wednesday afternoon, I switched on my air-con (quite rare too, during the day) and my lappy to update several stuff.

After which, I dragged the beany bag into the room and slept on the floor with it. I dozed off immediately, however, minutes later... I felt my chest being very heavy as though there were people pulling me down. I hate a little nightmare of devilish fiends around me. I tried pulling myself out, however I couldn't even lift my finger. It took me a long time to try to sort out my thoughts and cried, "God, save me...' before the ordeal ended.

I guess it's another calling for my lack of faith and commitment to God, these days. When was the last time, I talked to him daily? I can't remember it. Being 'attack' was quite a common thing to me actually, however, it normally happened at night... this time, it's in the day. I wonder what's happening to me?

Anyway, I was quite taken aback when my suicide partner called me. She sounded really sick and yet I was quite guilty as my dad drove me to school, thus I can't be at the bus-stop for her. I thought, who could I rely on to take care of her at the moment. I guess God did send a buddy there. Well, knowing she is so strong-headed and determine to stay in school, I needed to rope in more friends to help convince her to go home. Anyway she stayed... silly. I pray she's doing fine now... :)

Taking up another project soon for Scou Ting... however pending approval from my leaders to give the green light to go ahead as a representative from the Unit. SYF parade 2008... anyone interested to be in the contingent?

Two ladies asked me some questions a few days back... One asked me about retaining her job at Fishy or moving on to another job? and the other asked me whether to purchase a NDS despite the disapproval from her parent.

Well, I asked them back another question... "If you make a choice, make one that you will be happy about it and no regrets about it. If moving on to another job would allow you to be happier, move on. If purchasing the NDS, would entertain you and make you happy, buy it." Isn't the logic simple or was it me being naive and silly again? I know that life isn't as simple as I thought it would be. There are always opportunities forgone and decisions to make that would change your life forever. But since we know life's so complicated, why can't we take a step back to make it simpler? To make yourself feel more comfortable in living on this puny planet...

Suddenly, I felt lost for the first time as a leader. Somehow, the objective of training wasn't right. The atmostphere wasn't there. The planning seems solid on the outside, weak on the inside. I'm wondering if I am really capable of guiding these kids down the right path? Or am I just whecking their lives away? It's a heavy responsiblity, especially when you hope to see your kids going the out into the society to contribute as a good and useful citizen... not end up on the newspaper for some crime or infamous story.

It's going to get tougher... and the tougher it is ... the more challenge there is. I still think there is enough stamina for each challenge... anyway the supplier for the stamina is always with me. Suddenly, I miss the Father. Haha, am I lying to myself? Nope...

What kinda sweetness you would like to experience again, turtle? Love...? haha...

Kiddies... two choices!! Donuts or Pizzas? Don't want later got buns, or cakes or otah and sort coming out of the list. I'm not a billionaire's son! I'm Marlin... poor Marlin. So yeah... Huda, don't worry, I'll ensure there are leftovers for you, haha. So whose coming for the camp? Waiman? Euodia? Aeti? .... Whose going accompany me?? since SOMEONE already declare she will accompany Hippo...

Enough said... let the action being!