I tried this quiz... nothing fanciful... trying to relief myself off the studying for tomorrow's test. Got it from Sophie's friendster... she's a cheerful girl with small eyes. Yeah, so Sophie... keep quiet, stop smiling and be stern. Haha... i know it's not you... chill and keep things up.

Bored Bored Bored...

You Scored a 97% which means you are a ....

You are a passionate lover. You are the complete package and you recieve the complete package. You are NOT selfish and yet you still don't get walked all over. You're what everyone looks for and you show the opposite sex what it is like to truly be loved. Anyone who gets you is truly lucky.

What kind of lover are you
Take More Quizzes

The Servant Leader

Well, if you notice that the Blog name has changed from Past Time Always to The Servant Leader. Some may asked why? Relax, and let me explain.

The word Servant Leader, may sound as a contradiction when it is being paired together. How can a servant be a leader or a leader be a servant? Well, think about it, the times when we were takan as boys... forced to run around from tree to tree, pumping like no body's business and scolded and yelled at endlessly. Tough times yeah? Every generation has his or her story to tell about how they went through hardship and stuff.

The definition of Servant: A person hired to perform household or personal services

(http://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/servant)

The definition of Leader: One who leads or guides or is in charge or in command of others

(http://www.thefreedictionary.com/leader)

Well, I was back in Church, yesterday for the first time in 7 months (I guess). It was a really eye-opening (although, I was falling half asleep but manage to stay awake too!!). I was really lost for the past few days in next year's direction and plans as I assume my new responsibilities (I'm NOT gonna become a father yet!). Until Pastor Prince, talked about God creating people so that people could create positions for themselves. He didn't create people to fill up positions.

I understood that part, as in Scouting as well, scouts are being trained to explore and create new opportunities for themselves so as to assume a greater role in the society. Scouts weren't selected to be thrown into one position to do their mandatory duties, just like a robot. I remembered during PLTC 07', I was talking to Pris (then she cried...) about her not joining in for activities, like the other girls. Hey, even those super quiet (if there was any at that time) joined in the fun. She was telling me about them being treated as robots, taking orders and doing it. It really hit me hard, as I couldn't afford to see one junior to face such a problem alone. Well, talked to her about it (including exposing some personal stuff like relationship matters... and then we agreed not to say out anything... next thing I know, the rest of the Sub-Camp knows about it... ARGH!!). I was really tempted to fail her straight away, however, I prayed to God... I asked him to show the kids the way and that changes would be made as the camp progresses along. By the second evening, I was glad I didn't make any harsh decisions. Many may question why I didn't fail her. However, there's one thing I'm sure... she's a girl that has a lot of potential, which have not be reached.

I believe in her, that's all. Well, I guess this part of the blog is gonna be about her again. Haha I'm not in love with her... no worries! She's just an interesting tough nut that I'm glad she did change abit through the camp.

So back to Servant Leader... yeah, Pastor Prince talked about being a Servant Leader... I further re-enforce it by adding in, some of the most common traits of being a leader, such as "Leading by example", "Leading by learning and doing" and stuff like that. To be a good leader, you can lead your man and do good things... To be a great leader, you have to feel like how your man felt and lead your man to do greater things in life. I don't know if it makes sense to some people. But the underlying meaning in layman's term is to put yourself in some one's else smelly shoes!

It's never a shameful thing to lower yourself to do things that your man should be doing. In fact, it's a humbling experience. Some man will find that you're an idiot... since you're the leader, you shouldn't be doing such things. However, the more sensible man will respect you as you are willing to humble yourself down to feel how they feel and doing things together. Of coz', there is always a limit to you humbling down. Do not take it too seriously to help your man that you realised that you have done most of the work and leaving nothing for them to learn and explore from. Help, yet guide and educated.

I guess, that's all for today... if not, it would be a long long blog entry :)

Discipline ... When I was in my teens (yeah, I'm OLD now! Boohoo), I faced the difficulty in being discipline to do things that I know that I ought to be doing. Simple stuff such as washing dishes to studying to doing more important tasks was troublesome to me.

However, I dare to say that what makes me differentiate from the other peers at that time, was the effort made to be discipline. But how do I achieve that state of mindset? Well, simply, one thought came through my mind. If I can be so passionate and discipline in Scouting, why not in other aspects of life?

I'm always so amazed by scouts that are constantly being punished and picked on, coming back to the unit for activities and having fun. I wondered why don't they feel anything? I used to be such a boy... even through hardship and 'takan-ing', I still went back to participate in the activities. It's like something is growing in me and it doesn't want to leave.

So, think about how you can use a good trait from one part of your life and twist and turn it to suit another weakness in your life.

Talking about growing in me and leaving an impression. Some people does that quite well. Well, I do not want to mention names, however, there seems to be this angel or maybe she-devil (haha!) that looks out for me. I don't know how long that will last but I'm very appreciative that God placed her in my life now! I don't know about the future but now... it's just fine for me. Thanks suicide partner!

Hairy Crab is in China now! I hope he is surviving well over there. Jia You brother! Well, just drink more when you come back to Singapore! Drink more Coke!

Raging Bat ... la la la la la...

Wombat ... Ba ba ba ba ba ...

Wisdom Keeper ... pe pe pe pe ...

Talking Macaw ... caw caw caw caw ...

Russian Bear ... whose your daddy!! Haha

Random-ness...

Never back down

Well, my title speaks for itself. I've just watched the movie: "Never back down"... I always liked inspirational movies such as... "Battle of the Titans", "The Replacement", "Pay the forward", what else... as long as it's about team, about spirit, about character and about being yourself!

I love the thought about this movie, speaking of ... Every man has his own fight. He has to face it up, sooner or later. Whatever the outcome that is, depends on YOU! Yeah you, reading this blog right now!... Whatever the fight you are facing right now, the outcome of it, depends on your desire to fight it.. your effort to counter it and your heart and spirit to break it.

I'm fighting a fight now... a fight between a new me and a present me. It's about getting out there, to reach for the World... to grasp it and make good use of it... It's like jumping high to catch a star, and then, giving that star to the person who can't reach it yet (but soon will do so too). Well, it's an analogy, figure it out!

I wanna be strong, I wanna go ahead and fight it out. Yet, I know I must continue to breathe, to stay focus and to calm my emotions. The worst thing to happen in a fight, is to let your emotion to control your actions and thoughts. Once you have entered this stage, it would be very difficult to break from it and, the fight would be over in seconds. It happens in life too, when making decisions and when facing a major upsetting problem. It's difficult to think rationally, however, a wise person who force and make sure that all angles are thought of first, before proceeding. An unwise person (I'm like that sometimes) would just go for it, without thinking, and get into deeper shit.

Well, I still remember the Lunar Cheer:

Clap Clap, Clap it out

Clap the Lunar Spirit out

Stomp Stomp, Stomp it out

Stomp the Lunar Spirti out

Shout Shout, Shout it out

Shout the Lunar Spirit out

OH.... Lunar!

Well, We got to fight it out too!

Wisdom Keeper: "Don't disappoint me..."

--> Never back down from that challenge!

Hairy Crab: "We can only do so much and provide so much opportunity for you, whether you want to reach out to the World... it's on you"

--> I'll reach out and Pay it Forward!

Wombat: "always set our mind set to "i'm preparing myself" ... this way no matter wat u want to do u will be prepared"

--> Let's do it for the Unit! For White Stag!

Fly like a butterful, Sting like a Bee - Muhammad Ali

Restricting ... am I doing that sub-consciously?

Wisdom Keeper asked: "Is achieving your objective a part of something or is it just it?"

Steady Wolf asked: "When are you going to grow up?"

I've asked myself: "How do I realise my dreams?"

To Cottontail,
I believe that all your brothers and sisters are here for you. The only obstacle preventing you from receiving that love or care... is you taking the step forward to ask for it. There's this phrase from the Bible: "Ask, and it will be given" (Of coz', God can give you anything that you ask for... however, we being humans will give our best to our ability!)

Interesting phrase/ analogy of the day:
"imagine cow giving birth to a giraffe." by Yu Lei, Exco 6

Interesting praise of the day:
"The Lion, the tree ... Tampines District" by Smiling Ox. (What was the praise suppose to mean anyway?)

Found an interesting link for DPC 2006 (by Staunch Owl)
http://apps.rockyou.com/rockyou.swf?instanceid=30396633 (Enjoy!)

Maybe I'm thinking too much, maybe I'm not. Just take good care of yourself eh. I'll still be sticking around. An end of one cycle, doesn't mean that there can't be a start to another brand new one. There's no need to destroy a friendship so strong and lasting. Cheers!

Just came home from Bat's place after a night of fun out. Well, all good things must come to an end as well as life goes on. I guess how most of us felt when we started to leave the place. If only, time can stand still and allow us to have fun a little longer... If only, love can be in the air and conflicts ceases to exist... Would things be better?

Somehow, I kinda felt the loss of opportunity to interact more during the party due to the short departure to help my other bros and sis at Fishy. It wasn't intention, however, knowing the situation which could amount to 'mass slaughtering' and service level deterioration during peak hours. It's a risk and I took it. I went there and helped out. It wasn't fair to the others waiting for me to come back... I know it. However, what I had to do, I have done it and returned back asap.

Last night was a time that honesty and honour was put on the front line. The games we played, the things we shared, the memories we had... shall stay etched in our minds as long as we live... and bury it when we are dead.

Somehow, the Wolf and Wisdom Keeper had a next direction for me. Or perhaps an encouragement for me. Both focus on the word: "DREAM". I guess for things to work out. I'll have to have the mind to dream and the heart to follow through. Without both elements, a dream is just a dream or a fantasy that failed to be realized.

Anyway, here's a short clip on Singapore effort to bid for the World Jamboree 2015. Sadly enough, Japan won the bid and would be proceeding with it. Somehow, honestly, I felt happy that Japan won the bid. Reason being that, they are being run by leaders and rovers that helped to build up the society as well as the scouting movement in Japan. However in Singapore, its just different. Perhaps, it would be a wake-up call for many commissioners, leaders and boys and girls to reflect, are we ready for it yet?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsikKYPvW08

Here's a clip on the World Scout Jamboree to be held in Sweden in 2011. Well, similarly, Singapore tried bidding for it, however it didn't work out there. But nevertheless, Scouting is endless... Like how the narrator mentioned, it's our way of life. We will always try till we win the bid! For honour and glory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_q0yvZsby0

Well, enjoy the clip. Life's unpredictable. One life, live it!

Quoted from Rumer Willis (Daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore):
"As long as you are comfortable with who you really are and your friends, and the people that are around you know that, that's all the really matters.

AND

"Hopefully, young girls will watch this and feel confident about themselves and go: "OK, that girls' not entirely the ideal of what a perfect pictures is supposed to be and she feels confident and beautiful, then I can too.""

I've got to totally agree with what she had said. This is not rebelling or rioting against traditional ideas or being proud. However, its having faith and confidence in being yourself. Why should you change for someone else when it comes to a relationship? Why shouldn't you just change for yourself to be a better person each day?

Well, my life just had a 180 degrees turnabout during the course of the day. It sucks totally. First, with the emotional messages left behind. Then came the decision to leave one's life. Then the ultimate reason came from the past, bearing against another person. WTF! Then, I've decided... No go for any kinda lovey dovey relationship now. It's stupid and shity to think that such crazy and insane thinking still exist as a young adult.

I'm really bored and tired of running around and beating around the bush. I've to give up something... that's an order by my Dad. I hope he realised that I gave up relationship amongst my work, scout and school. Some may ask, why no go for relationship? Simply, I do not have time for my own self to develop and learn, what's more to cram more stuff in?

No offence ladies, but I guess I have enough problems with ladies at the moment. I shall settle my stuff first, then when I'm ready to face all those problems... I shall come out again. For the moment, I'll just stick to my carefree style: to go out with anyone that wants to spend time with (provided that time permits in the first place). However, going on dates have it's orders:

1) Family/ relatives
2) "Brothers" and "God-sisters"
3) Friends
4) Girlfriend (which is none for the moment, and maybe not so soon also)

Headache! It feels like someone is hammering my head all day long! And my nose is leaking, where's the switch or tap to turn it off! Argh.

Just got my 6 months attachment location settled! It's back to Citi again! Woah! and this time round, there are familiar people around me again! Mel, Ah Ming, Ah Ben... so far that's who I know that is going over to Citi.

Well, I was really getting pissed off and she was really getting on my nerve earlier. Juanny was so worried with her 'interview' and chances to be in the Lynch. I can't take it when people hog over the same question over and over again just to feel satisfied to ease their fear. Where's the confidence? Where's the courage? Where's the drive to go? Shit!

Well, it was quite an emotional morning reading Turtle's msg. Well, be it buddy or so, there's no need to leave my life. It's already part of it, just like whoever I met in my life. Moreover, there's always someone in my life. The difference is just that, who will it be during that period of time. However, there is always one lady that is always in my life. Just like how all humans will have one lady that they will always treasure and love (generally).

Well, if we can't be like before, why not start anew with something else. Who says buddies can't go out and have fun? haha I'm single and unavailable at the moment. So still no constraint or anyone holding back... wait maybe have ... my Dad. haha.

Choices had to be made. However, I'm happy where I'm at ... at the moment. I've got great friends, people who cared and bother to stick up with my nonsense ... yeah that's enough for me, I guess. Some asshole (Juanny) is sitting beside me now saying that I'm long-winded!! Blardy hell.

OK... I'm meeting Yana sis later. I wonder what are we going to eat for today? Not too much stuff again I hope... NAPFA is next week and I can barely run, do pull-up and do sit-up. How? Die lor!

Ciaoz!

It's another day for a project submission. Well, the lecturer did expect most people to turn up for his lecture, very much dead, due to the rushing and finalization of the report. True enough, most of us were struggling to stay awake and focus on his lecture. I had to say that I manage to stay awake for most of the parts... however, at times, the soul just slipped out into my lala land.

Well, watched Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, yesterday with Wisdom Keeper, 2 R.Bs, Wombat, Jedi and Cottontail. I have to say that I very much prefer the first episode as compared to this. The storyline is way better and the fighting and actions were more (first episode). This time round, it seems so "lovey dovey" and "musical".

Until the end of the show, Wisdom Keeper asked me, why I was acting in the show, yet I didn't tell them about it. I was stun for a moment, until I realise that the figure in the show that represented me was.... none other than... Abe Sapein (see picture below)

Well, it was all meant to be a joke. However, the next sentence prompt me to think further. He told me that the movie may have a meaning in my life. He quoted: "Say it before it's too late."... I figured, well if one day there's a girl that I love, I would want to say two things to her.

1) I Love You (whoever you are)
2) Will you be my Marlinspike (or Marlinnie) --> Whichever that sounds nicer?

Anyway I have added two links on my sideboard. Well, RIOTsg belongs to my Uncle Desmond while Indulgence belongs to a group of friends (Ben and Spacko). Well, its interesting to take a look and explore their website or to order items that you need. Come on, support them!

Well, I called Sunshine today. However, I guess she was sleeping and she's not meeting us again for dinner. Honestly, I think Mei mei can't wait to see her as much as I do as well. Its been a long time I guess. I can't wait to meet Mei mei later... I wonder if she had grown an fatter? Haha... nah, she's one girl that I know, can't grow fat. But she can put on weight at the right assets. One crazy thing about her... let me see... her laughter! You'll understand why if you're out with her laughing most of the time.

Ok... I'll meet up with her soon... and Ciaoz to all!

Countdown to Blog Revamp: Day 1

Just a few hours ago, there was joy and fun... I was totally surprise when my brothers (Macaw, Bear, Bat and Wombat) dropped by my house to celebrate. When Wombat called earlier, he sound kinda sad and trouble... I was thinking, what made him sound so love sick? Who dump him? Haha kidding.

Well, we had a great time playing the cream of the cake on each other faces as well as licking each other's hands. Gayish! Ultimately, it was fun and truly... I can see a stronger bond with each other to develop each other's potential and talent as well as to better serve the unit and district. Our slogan: "Fight with Honour, Win with Pride, Brothers for Life"!

Then, it's back to school again now. Funny, that when it comes to datelines... I'm kinda immune to the fact that it's just a matter of hours away. I would still continue to do my stuff and yet complete the assignment. However, how well has the outcome of the assignment be... it defers. God bless me, please!

I would like to have a revolution in my life. Similarly, that how Turtle would like to have a revolution in her life. Well, it's time to step things up and accelerate in my life. Procrastinating for so many months and delaying on my own personal development. Some may asked, why do I say that? Well, the instrumental courses, the driving and biking courses, kayaking courses and martial art courses were delayed long enough. Some was due to financial while others were mostly due to time and effort to find out about things.

Today, I had a smile on my face in the morning again. This was due to Puffer fish's msg from Australia. Haha I so love her! Woah!. Well, she seems to be doing fine (in her bed resting, while I was resting on the train!!! NO FAIR). I can't wait for her to return to Singapore again. I told her that if she did return, I would leave those nights free for her. Haha sounds wrong. 8 years of friendship... a friend, a buddy, a competitor, a role-model and a fine lady! (Anyway, I was msging her till I reached school... so that amounts to ... ???).

OK I'm trying to find a note pad that I can put up reminders on the blog for events happening for scouts in the district and national. It seems some leaders and scouts do forget about important dates, thus resulting in failure to turn up for events or submission of documents. Any idea, where I can do up a note pad?

My brother was talking to me a few weeks about the two primary school girls that I used to like. Cher and Queen. He was comparing who was better. Finally, he concluded that Cher was good looking (in female terms) and kinda smart. However, he favoured Queen as he thinks that she is better in terms of character, academic and looks (cutie). I don't know... speaking about them out of the blue... seems so weird. How long had I not seen Queen? Since 2006, when Turtle and I went out to Tampines Mall to catch a movie. I wonder when will be the next time.

I feel like meeting so many people. To see how old friends are doing, how new friends are doing, how strangers are reacting. It's weird to feel this way. But yet, it's just for entertainment. I spoke to Jo about the games in the VLC. I was wondering how did the running of my games were like.

Honestly, I do have to apologise that I felt that I didn't do a good job in running the games. This maybe due to missing the previous meeting and not checking out what my role was in advance. Maybe I could explain the games underlying meaning here.

Flag signalling is a game of communication whereby the patrols/ exco is being separated to send messages to each other over a distance whereby they can't hear each other speak. Time was given to allow them to strategize on the method of communication. Well, what makes the game interesting, was the fact that communication plays an important part. If both sides fail to communicate their intended message across... they loses.

Similarly, in an Exco, if communication between members (brothers and sisters) fails. The Exco and the unit would not move on. As such, over time, the unit and Exco would self-destruct and dissolve into thin air.

Minesweeper is a game of strategy whereby members had to remember where the mines are and which step to take. The focal point of the game isn't about just remembering and moving along. It is more of team communication to decide how they will go about to complete the task. Thus communication again plays an important role. However, unlike Flag Signalling... the game allows minimal conflict among members due to the decisions as well as how the members agree with each other to take that step.

Similarly, in an Exco, conflicts over decisions made are very common. However, it's how the Exco handle the situation that allows the team to be strong or destroyed. There are different way of leadership or team dynamics... it's just how to apply it for the right situation and time.

To pay it forward to your unit and the next generation that should be your secondary aim. To have personal development and growth... that should be your primary aim.

If you can't take good care of yourself, how do you expect yourself to take care of others. Similarly, if you can't develop your own skills and knowledge, how do you expect yourself to develop the scouts' skills and knowledge. Lead by example, show the way... but do not be a supporter, be a spotter!

Venture Leadership Course (North East Area) is over! A new beginning for most ventures into their venturing journey.

Today, the birth of the Marlin! haha sounds like I'm giving birth. Well, it wasn't me who gave birth. However, it was me that was given birth into this World. A world that is complicated and unjust in many many ways. Yet, people continue to live each day, praying that someday, everything would end.

Well, I was thinking, the purpose of my life again through-out the day. Why was I born out to this world? What was my mission? and so on and so forth. It may puzzle most people about, why I'm thinking of such stuff on my birthday. However, come to think of this sometimes, I really wonder what am I here for?

What does my life constitute so far for the past 19 years? Hmmm.

Age of 0 to 3, home school and still crawling around the house.
Age of 4 to 5, day care centre and kindergarten.
Age of 6 to 12, primary school, joined speak good English club, science club and rugby. (hey I'm not a nerd lor! I'm quite gangster before).
Age 13 to 17, secondary school, joined scouting, basketball, peer leader, prefect, councillor, swimming...
Age 18 to 20, polytechnic school, continue scouting, working at fishy and citi... and still alive and kicking.

I felt that I should love people more. Why so? So that I wouldn't be pissed off with just anyone that I'm unhappy with. It's a terrible feeling to be angry at times... you tend to feel grumpy and tired after that. Oh yeah, I remembered what I was suppose to mean by that... there's a saying, a human without enough sleep or too much sleep, would tend to feel moody and grumpy when he or she had woke up not long. I do not know how true that is, however, it applies to me.

Imagine, having just about 3 hrs sleep each night for the week and going through the busy day, especially with the crowd in the trains and bus... the emotional control would be lacking as well as temper. Many a times, I felt like picking a fight... however, thinking back, I was lucky I didn't or else I would have regretted my actions.

I was happy when Sunshine msg me happy birthday today. It was a very rare occasion for her to appear out of the blue, again. However, what I told her was something, not of a happy occasion message, but I had to say it before... God knows when she will start to disappear again. I told her that I was scare of her... not because she was fierce or hot-tempered, however scare that I'll lost contact of her again. I told her honestly, about the appearing and disappearing act of hers... do not know if it was a right time to tell, however, I hope she gets my meaning from there.

I would like to thank several people... (the list is kinda long):

1. Imm cousin
2. Suicide partner
3. Horny crocodile
4. Airpork Jie
5. Ah Ming --> Love Guru
6. Ah Ben --> Karate Champion
7. Wombat
8. Turtle
9. SnOw Mei Mei
10. Ah Bao Brother
11. QY Mei Mei
12. Cottontail
13. Sunshine Girl
14. Jean-san
15. Lucky
16. Jian Zhou
17. TK Chia
18. Jacq
19. Jovial Grizzly
20. Russian Bear --> Who's your daddy?!
21. Raging Bat
22. De Ming (Exco 6)
23. Wisdom Keeper --> I Ai You too!
24. Yi Pang
25. Yu Lei "Lei Lei" (Exco 6)
26. Ying Jie "Smiling all the way girl" (Exco 6)
27. Yanni Mei Mei
28. Jedi --> My master
29. Cris --> Aunty Fishy
30. Tze Ting
31. Joanne
32. Grace
33. Andrea
34. Boyce
35. Edger
36. Larry
37. Karen --> Emo girl.
38. Ashley
39. Jasmine
40. Bryan
41. Mel Mel --> Tom Boy
42. Zhi Juan
43. Belinda
44. Mei Shan

Not forgetting, God and my dad.

This is to thank these people for making the extra effort to make my day happier!!

Good times, bad times... What time is it?

Well, Sunday is considered as a family day for my family since young (except for camps and scouting stuff). My dad would have broken my limbs if I didn't abide to that rule he set upon the household. I used to hate it, as I find that it is just wasting my time away... I was more into going out with my friends and chiong around.

Looking back, it seems that I never regret the choice I made to stick to that rule. Well, my family constitutes a male dominant environment, moreover, we are very quiet people who keep things to ourselves. I have to admit, I seldom talk at home even though there is a topic for me to do so. Maybe I'm just lazy or its just troublesome.

Sunday... I woke up early (11.00am) that day. Reason being that I would like to visit and support some scouts who are volunteering and working hard, at NTUC Tampines Mall, for the President's Charity event. Honestly, its kinda weird to see them in uniform walking around with the trolley to sell Kit-Kats. However, its in the name of charity, so might as well do something for the society.

After which, it was the beach outing with my family. Well, I wasn't really in the mood to do much activities, thus I did the job of overlooking my two brother skating around. Well, we stopped after a while and decided to head down the water for a swim. Honestly, I didn't bring along any spare clothes or boxers to change... I just took off my shirt and belongings and head down. The wave was rough and strong, which was what I was hoping for actually. After swimming for a few minutes, I lay on the sand and looked up in the sky to drift off into my thinking zone.

I thought nothing and fell asleep instead. The breeze on my face as well as the sound of the laughter and waves... it was really cooling and relaxing. I guess I needed that break after all. Well, all good things seems to last for a short time, I guess. It didn't take long before its time to head off for dinner and home.

Seeing scouters coming back to scouting is really a joyful feeling. I do not deny that jealousy of them having more opportunity do not exist... however compared to seeing them around and enjoying scouting with them, beats those negative feelings. Humans will never fully comprehend true happiness as long as negative thoughts such as condemnation, greed and jealousy existed. When I looked back in my scouting life so far, I am glad that I was given many chances to prove my worth as well as to do my best in my areas... however, there maybe some areas that I lagged in, which needs some improvement.

How does one feel when you know that someone is waiting for you, yet you're waiting another? Everyone would experience this at least once in your lifetime. It doesn't only mean in relationship, however also through meet-ups and stuff.

Well, I thought about the word 'regret' some time ago. Sometimes, when humans make choices and regret over it... its kinda sad to see them demoralize and destroyed. Simple choices such as dinner or activity to the extent of complicated choices of relationship and marriage. That may be the source to destroyed families due to divorces and break-ups.

Emotions... all humans have that. Its just the matter of the use of this element in your life. Whether to let it control you or you controlling it. There's no need to force or to implement controls in your life to manage your emotions. If you're meant to be emotional, so be it. God created each human different... gave each human different characteristic and abilities... How you want to use those gifts that He had given you... all depends on YOU!

Wisdom keeper asked: "Why do scouts have scouting names?"... Honestly, its the tradition that I know about. I believe that in the past, warriors or people who prove that they are worthy to be warriors are given names of animals as a sign. Thus, that tradition was brought forward into scouting. Lord Baden Powell had many scouting names, however the most common one is "Impeesa" - The Wolf that never sleeps. (Click link to read about it, further).

To that little girl, well, if you believe that he is yours, go for it. Don't cry over trival matters... I believe in you.

To the suicide partner, thanks for your birthday cake. Haha it was quite filling until I skipped lunch and dinner... Haha just kidding...

To Turtle, 10%... don't forget!

To Russian Bear, good job on getting more involved in the unit matters. Now's your time to come out of hibernation and go for hunting.

To Joanne (if Wisdom Keeper sees this, there's no underlying meaning... whaha), keep up the good work on the minute writing and administrative organisation. If Yan can cook, so can you write (no link... randomness).

List of Birthday Celebrities for July:
1st - SnOw Mei Mei
6th - Suicide Partner
6th - Jeff - Siglap
8th - Justin - Fishy
12th - Desmond - Hougang Rangers
13th - Ashraf - Ngee Ann Wichita
18th - Sunshine Girl
20th - Wombat
21st - Wisdom Keeper
28th - Russian Bear
28th - Raging Bat

If I missed out any friend's birthday, please do inform me :)
Happy Birthday to all July babies!

The times spent with the Thai cub scouts were wonderful. Although, I have not communicated with them a lot... they were really shy and friendly (especially those smaller kids and the girls). Anyway, I was going around greeting most of the scouts when I arrive (late)... I guess I was just too tired the night before... I switched on my lappy, log online and went to lie on my bed... *poof* Russian Bear called me up.

I quickly change and packed my stuff for the day and rush down. As I was rushing down, I called Bee to check out where he was... guess what! I called him up! haha he overslept too!

Well, basically, the games were quite normal, I was surprise to see some who can communicate well, while at the same time disappointed by others who failed to live up to my expectation. No worries, we'll try to find a way to work that out!

Anyway, work was bad... I was bombed with weird kinda questions since I picked up call today. Examples such as ATM functions, complicated accounts that had fraudulent transactions and customers with weird kinda tones... OMG what's wrong today?! Luckily, there was the witch! the leo-nerd! around for me to keep on asking questions. With their presence, I do feel kinda relax too and less pressurized with the customers attitude and tone. Thank God for them!

Next week is gonna be another hectic week with another project up for submission. After which, it's gonna be National Venture Leadership Course (VLC) at Sarimbun Scout Camp. Hopefully, I'm able to guide this batch of young adults well. I didn't feel that I did well the other time... so I'll try to guide them to explore more about venturing.

I've just tried to watch the movie "The Happening" to find out what's happening at all. Well, my stylish auntie told me that nothing was happening. I thought maybe I try to figure it out. Guess what? Besides the mass killing of humans, there isn't much happening at all. I figure the underlying meaning of this movie was to treat the environment well before it starts to kick our asses to wake our senses up.

Maybe its true, maybe not... With the kinda environment today and weird chemicals being produced each day. Who knows if there'll be an experiment gone wrong and kick start a World event that is unstoppable? Or maybe nature feels that she had taken enough pain and trouble, thus she would like to payback to us? Weird though.

What's inspirational for people out there today? Maybe some may like to share on their blogs or on their tag board so that I can take a look? I wonder...

Ok, Cottontail commented me as this "A gentleman with strong character who would play a supporting role to others who wish to make something theirs." Anyone wanna guess the underlying meaning of it?

I have to say... I don't find myself as a gentleman... more like a rugged fellow out in the open (maybe that's scouting?!) haha I have to agree on the supporting role onwards. :) Bingo, she understands me somehow in my style of scouting and in life. Haha no wrong ideas here! She's a good old sister, see the word OLD! haha just kidding December baby!

Well, there isn't much to think about today. Tomorrow 11am to 2pm NTUC Tampines Mall... those who are free, please go over to support Tampines District Scouts selling items for the President's Challenge!! Yippie!!

Good night and Good bye. But before that...

Yeah! She's the next big thing! Demi Lovato... she's a cutie! See Camp Rock (2008) to catch a better glimpse of her. Here's a youtube video link of Camp Rock - This is me...

Well, there seems to be lots of thoughts going through my mind these days. It's not an unusual activity or event, however its keeps me thinking and wondering about weird topics such as why is life made this way instead of another... Its not suicidal thoughts, no worries about it. (To those who hates me, it's gonna be bad news for you... Wahaha)

Anyway I normally received daily devotional news from Rick Warren via e-mail. Today's post topic was on Feeling Are Fickle - Faith Is Forever. Basically, it speaks about faith outlasting feelings. Just like in Scouting, my friends used to asked me, why am I still into it? Well, I was taken aback when one of them commented that passion would die off someday. (Wisdom Keeper, its not only you who spoke to me about this... haha kidding). Well I do agree thus from then, I thought through and decided that its for several reasons now.

1. Personal Growth and Development

2. Assisting my brothers and sisters in their goals (I'll always try to do that, however sometimes due to my lack of tactfulness... it ends up in a negative way)

3. Guiding the next generation to be better scouts and citizens in the World.

Seems like a whole lot of things for me to do and for me to stay on. I do agree with Russian Bear that there'll come a time when you have to take a step away to let the new generation to carry on the tradition. Further more, once a human were to reach his or her turning point in life, there are other important matters to settle. Talking macaw said once that scouting do not give you money for your livelihood, there's no obligation as its all about volunteerism.

I do agree with both brothers. In fact, I spend my money in Scouting instead of earning money. However, compared to the experience, the laughter and happiness... its priceless. In time, it will be my turn to make the decision to do other things in life, such as a proper career, a family (includes relatives and cousins) and other areas in life. I wouldn't say that I'm fully prepared for it... however, I'll do my best.

Honestly, today's presentation for MFS, I wasn't really confidence at first. I prayed and still feel that insecurity (perhaps I'm just freaking myself out again)... until MIssy Jassy started with a boom and bang! Then it got the entire group rolling and scored! Haha so cool.

After which, working was fun. It really got into me that fishy restaurant became a focal point for me and some close 'brothers' (what we call ourselves as kitchen brothers... haha) coming together to sit down and talk about how to improve our restaurant as well as to laugh out loud about the weirdest situation that we faced during the course of work. My friends also asked why do I go down willingly to help out even if they do not pay me... well, its for my 'brothers and sisters' who are working there (some by choice, some by attachment).

Well, one project down, few more to go. Ganbatte everyone!!

Well, little girl, you came and you left and you came into my life again. I wonder what's there installed next?

To Cottontail, you're not alone... we're all in this together. As a patrol, as a team as a CREW!

To Raging Bat, I've heard praises from your trainer... Keep up the good job. I know its pressuring and tough at times, however that's where we learn to grow and do things we normally do not do in our comfort zone. Imagine carrying 5 pans in one hand? No one dare to start on it, till the runners (your trainer and me) began to experiment and push ourselves during such operations. Soon, you'll discover your potential and try to break it each time. It trains you more than you making drinks and salads. Cheers!

To Wisdom Keeper, one McWiki please! (No link again... randomness)

Have faith and always smiling people. If you do not enjoy life, what's the point in living and looking forward to the next day? Ain't it right?

As I walked home (like a zombie) today, I was thinking real hard on the quote that my leaders used to tell me: "Work hard now, enjoy later". I was pondering on this quote as my quite successful uncle did told me the same. To work hard for the future, so as to enjoy later. However, something made me think twice about this.

A few hours back, the group was struggling to complete the project. Despite knowing that we are able to make it through (thou' not at a distinction level), I could feel that sense of struggle and doubt about the completion of the project. Was it due to incompetency, or too much slacking and playing till the last moment? If we were to work hard before, could we really enjoy now?

Two scenario came into my mind. Firstly, presumably if we really did get to enjoy, how much will it be or will it last, as other projects are still pending. Secondly, knowing humans being humans, would constantly improve their work even till the last minute so as to do their best or to fight off competition. So back to the point of working hard before and enjoying later?

But, before any of the little kiddies or scouts jump into conclusion that I am referring that you are able to slack and not work hard... you're wrong. Working hard is a human nature... perhaps its due to ego and pride to be better than others. God gave you the ability to work, so use it well and make sure its to your best. Like what Jedi mentioned, the day that you die, God will asked you... have you used the ability that I've given to you to the best of it? or did you just slack and wasted those gifts given to you?

I wonder how I'm going to answer that at times... thus I felt that working hard is what makes you use your ability to the highest potential itself. There's no shame in working hard... however you ought to be a shame to not use that ability to help others or even yourselves.

Thus I concluded with the quote: "Focus and Relax". It may sound familiar to many of the scouts, however... I felt that through this quote, I'm about to work hard yet enjoy at the same time. How do I do it? I don't know... only God knows. Maybe I'll give an example of lighting a fire using a magnifying glass. It concentrates on a certain spot (focus) and it doesn't move or jerk around, it just remain constant and steady reflecting a compose and relax state.

Just like how I'll sharpen my 'iron' and work hard efficiently. Go forth with wisdom and courage and believe that achievement is within my reach. True enough that Ms Yong did mention that the sky is the limit... well used to be the case. However, humans being humans, the limit to anything is infinite. Whatever that humans thought wasn't possible then, may not mean that it isn't impossible now.

Ben asked, so where is your line drawn? I wondered too... perhaps, there shouldn't be any line to anything... if it's love and caring for others, it should be given naturally without asking or expecting anything in return. If it did, thank God for it. If it didn't, so be it. Why should humans limit their ability to love and care to just a line drawn? Or maybe that line drawn was there to prevent any misunderstanding or giving false hope? I wonder who in the hell created such an illogical rational...

Sometimes, I do wonder, if I go back in time, I would stop Adam from eating that apple and Eve to listen to that serpent. I would have stop the Austrian duke from being assassinated, which triggered WW1. I would have allowed a durain instead of an apple to drop on Issac Newton's head. I would have ensure that lightning didn't strike the kite and strike the kite holder instead (that was how electricity from lighting was discovered). It's all meant to be a joke.

However, for those illogical rational thinking celebrity, I would have kicked their arse and slap their faces to wake them up from giving such weird quotes that driven many humans crazy or most to question their sanity in this world. I wonder how long more I can last... as long as God permits I guess.

To that little girl, feat not and ganbatte! Have faith and always smiling. Seize those moments and shine like the stars (although Singapore stars don't really shine always due to the clouds... but still we know it shines -_-!!)

Confession is always a hard thing to do. No matter how strong the person is, whenever it's time to confess a secret to another person, it would require great effort and courage to do so. I've to really appreciate those who confess to me in their secrets as well as in allowing me to know my weaknesses in life.

There's a lot of areas that I felt that I need to improve on, personally. One of the major areas is communication with others. Despite that I'm able to be tactful, to a certain extent, during communication, however... in terms of maintaining conversations and relationship through communication is lacking. Hmmm... I'll think about the other areas when the time comes. At the moment, just focus and relax and take things as it comes.

Cottontail has been complaining about me being too relax and heck-care about my life. Is it so? I don't know. Perhaps, there's a greater destiny out there for me, that has yet to be explored or tapped upon. Sounds like 'Wanted" ... hehe ... I have dream of forming or joining a fraternity. Thus, perhaps... White Stag Scouts Troop will be the fraternity to each generation of scouts that wore the troop badge with pride and honour.

Talking about pride and honour... where's the pride and honour of being a scout in an international organization? What has the promise and law becomes to you after you become a tenderfoot, scout, senior scout, venture, rover or leader? Haiz, time has change many things, even the responsibility of as scout, fun and carefree of a scout's life.

Love... I asked God yesterday after sending suicide partner back. Am I really ready for a relationship with anyone now? Be it that little girl or so... Or is there something that has not been done yet and needs to be done now? Thus, I asked Him to give me an answer, a sign or whatever it is to clarify this matter.

The ultimate fear next to rejection, perhaps is breaking someone's heart. Maybe it's due to that sick feeling that I felt before many times... therefore, I wouldn't want anyone to feel that because of me. I'm more of a Heart-Breaking Kid, as compared to a Heart-Breaker Kid. It's a major difference.

There's a time and place for everything. It's time to do what we should do in life first. Maybe what Turtle said maybe true, to a certain extent... I'm just finding an excuse to stop loving, yet wants to continue to love. I guess, I have more or less killed that feeling of love again and again, each time it rose up. I'm a stubborn fish, I guess.

Yawn... time to rest perhaps when school is over altogether.

To do my best to God, to the country, to other people and to self.

Blunt words from your closest aides, hurts the most. I guess that's how I should put it when I speak to people that are close to me. Well, speaking about being tactful towards others, however, humans and fallen angels aren't perfect, thus resulting in hurt and misunderstanding among each other.

If a human viewed the bluntness from another human, as an offending remark... perhaps, re-think in the point of view that the remark was made due to the weakness of the human's soul and decisions. Ignoring the criticism of some humans and intention to hurt... most humans would be blunt on the words they speak so as to allow the other party to understand their mistakes or occasionally good deed.

Anyway, inspiration ideas? Hmm, comparing spending time with a friend as to slogging out at work? Which will you choose?...

For me relationship with others is very much important in my life. I would feel that maintaining a relationship and forgoing the potential to earn extra cash is worth the while. Reason being that time taken to build a relationship and the value of the relationship isn't comparable to the mere dollars and cents that I am earning now. (If I'm a millionaire, all the more the relationship matters more due to the fact that the amount of money earned is more than sufficient.)

I did spent a nice, lovely evening with Cottontail. Perhaps, it's just an instinct or God's sign to prompt me to ask her out for dinner and to spend the time talking about scouting and life. Well, it's really good except for the freaking part. Yeap, that freaking part whereby a cup of Dark Mocha Frappes with whip cream, spilling on my favourite smart pants. It was really embarrassing as I had to walk about with the stains at the wrong places. Argh! And there she is laughing her ass off it. Boo Hoo. Well, time spent was worth the while. :)

It's really weird to feel love for that little girl, yet withdrawal again and then love again. It's been an on-off affair that I began asking the very same questions that I pose to Wombat. Is it just a temporary feeling that will fade away soon?

Ok, I've got a learning point to share to some fellow members.

"A Scout smiles and whistles under all difficulties" - well next time, besides having courage to face the difficulty... smile and whistle while facing it too. This will help you to focus and relax and gives you an opportunity to prove your worth that no difficulty would be able to stop you from succeeding or overcoming it.

God wouldn't hand you a problem or hurdle in your life without considering your ability to handle and to resolve it. You might complain that you can't do it and such, and when you succeed, you might comment that it's just by luck. There isn't anything call luck in this world. By saying that it's by luck, you're denying the existence of God, who plans your life and destiny.

Thus, next time when facing a difficulty, thank God... for the opportunity given. And pray that He will guide you to be a better person each day.

Ultimately, Be Prepared mentally and physically (mind and body) for all kinds of situation. That's what the motto means after all.