2 trips to Genting Highlands - one with the SandS Rovers and Oneida Ventures, and the other Marlinne's family.

2 different objectives... 2 different environment. However, one thing in common... that's me! Haha ok just being lame.

It's been really tiring travelling by bus, to and fro from Singapore to Genting and back to Singapore. However, the satisfaction of being with your love ones, it's really really good. I can't ask for more than to be with the people I care and love during this period of time. This is especially so when the letter for call-up looms nearer and nearer.

I must say, I have a mixed feeling about this. I am excited yet nervous about entering the National Service. I guess I just got to hang on there a little longer. A little reflection about myself for the couple of months. I guess I am in the period of misguided or so called 'lost in transition'. I figured that due to the uncertainty ahead, I didn't really take much action to push on my life. I just waited and waited. I guess it's in my nature too, to take low risk or at least a certain degree of calculated risk.

I am truly leading a bum's life, as I have been bumming away for the last 2 months. Not that I didn't do anything much, however, after these few days of intense reflection. I see certain points in my life crashing hard... especially my expectations. However, at the same time, my mind is working non-stop to think of remedies and cures for these problems:

1. Training schedule, method and practice for the scout unit... It's rather disappointing yet expected to hear from certain members that they had not learnt anything since the beginning of the year. No one to blame except myself for coming up with this kinda training method. Yet, in my mind... another form took place with the integration of other unit's training method. I hope I am not just a thinker now... I hope to get it done. and get it done fast!

2. Rover Training... I'm really taking a stroll in the park for this matter. However, thanks to my fellow Rovers like Wombat, Wisdom Keeper and Cottontail. I managed to continue to push on and do up my logbook and share. The most rewarding moment spent together was during the Genting Highlands trip so far. 4 different people from different units, culture and personalities... we were once strangers to each other, yet we forge a friendship, now so strong that we care and share with each other. Thank you for this bond!.

3. My relationship. Whenever I thought back or people telling me about getting into a relationship with someone unexpected is not quite possible... I thought again... that's not true! It happened to me... It started with a seed (hint) which slowly grew its roots into me. I guess now it's a big tree sheltering my heart. I am thankful for who she is and what she has been doing for me. I can't ask for more than the love, care and concern that she provided so far... Thank you Marlinne!

4. Am I thinking too deep, too simple, doing practical or non-practical matters? I do not know. At times, I can really think really deep down and touch the hearts of others, yet at times, I just can't and ended up upsetting others. I wonder if my observation skills and listening skills have taken a dip through this past few months. The secondary school teacher once commented that I am an observant student. I felt that was true however, now I don't get that feeling anymore. Why? ... Am I just being too ambitious again with my own ideas? Am I just ignoring the facts of life? Am I fighting against something?

5. What's my talent? I told my Rovers that I am able to be a neutral element. Why did I say that? Perhaps, I feel that I can stand at a viewpoint of a neutral party whenever situations approaches. I learnt this during my first few years of leadering... this wasn't easy as I tend to mixed my emotions and my ideas into what's wrong and right. For now, I tend to think both sides before commenting. I don't know... maybe that's my only talent for now.

What's my belief in life? I haven't really thought about this deeply before, even though I did tried a couple of years ago. There were weird ideas coming up like 'protecting the poor, woman and children', or 'protecting my loves with the ability that I have' or 'educating the next generation the proper values and the meaning of their lives'... I guess, the main focus is about those who are around me. Those that I kept true to my heart and also who I tried to help out.

Well... one's belief may change at one point or even many points in life... however, as long as you stick to your beliefs and principles in life. I guess, you should be happy and joyful.

Happiness... why do I feel emptiness instead for these couple of days. What's missing in my life?