"Were people so blinded by the money that they honestly believed themselves to be defenders of the poor and the sick?" (Quoted from 'King of Torts' by John Grisham)

I was reading about lawyers preaching out to the World that they are suing for the poor and powerless people, to gain what they are suppose to received. I've heard people preaching to me about community work as a vision of a MLM company. I've seen community volunteers shoo-ing kids back into asking for donation.

Has the money that the humans created, blinded them instead? Have the money that we thought to be used as currency for exchanging items and buying items, controlled our fate and moral values? I believe that the creators of monetary values were to see the future, they may have destroyed the idea of even having one. Why? Simply, I don't think they created the monetary system to control humans.

Look at Wall Street today. Look at the banks today. Are humans being so greedy and naive into thinking that they can just throw their money into some kinda investment without even looking through the terms and conditions or even understanding the usage of it?

Is Scouting making me blind of the reality of the World?

I got to admit that Scouting as a passion, as a leader, can be quite an occupation hazard in one's life. Take for example, in a situation whereby you got to be a leader... you got to be one. When you are in a situation to be a Rover, you got to be one. There isn't any mixed or matched... it's one or another.

I do empathise Marlinne whenever I overloaded myself with the Scouting works and passion stuff. Teaching and guiding a boy's life and using it on the relationship... it isn't that fair to her or to myself. However, sometimes, it takes time to let go of some stuff and let others handle it.

I do agree that I can be a perfectionist, to a certain degree... I love to do my work on my own and when it comes to other people doing it for me... I do get quite hesitant to it. I fear that the results they produced wouldn't be the ones that I have expected it to be. But now, I am learning to coordinate. To be a coordinator in some sense (no, I am not watching too much Gundam Seed).

Well... I think I got to sort out my thoughts for now. So many things line up for me... so much to do. I'm not complaining... in fact, I love to do things. That's the reason why I stayed out from home, to go around. Even if it means travelling down to the North, even if it means sitting at the coffee shop with my brothers, even if it means going down to school to meet my brothers... I just got to do something instead of sitting in front of the computer or the television the whole day. Instead of lying on the bed like a dead corpse the whole day.

I embrace the challenge like my uncle once said. I do... and I take pride in it. I take pride in doing things differently, to work my ideology out, to step out of my comfort zone. There isn't any need to be sorry for the other intentions you think that I am having. I am just trying to enjoy my life here.

Each man has an ego. I've seen great leaders fall from grace due to their ego. Ego that has been bruised or hurt by someone they love or even things that they can't accomplish. I do have my ego too... however, I guess my ego is too small for such things to happen. I believe that I can be as proud as a peacock, yet I would always remind myself to be humble and down to earth. I am no high achiever that people once thought I am... I am no superhero that I thought once... I am no super lover too, although I would love to be one.

I am just a plain fish.