It's been a week of adjustments for me. Adjusting back to my workplace, adjusting my social lifestyle, adjusting my study methods, adjusting my feelings, thoughts, words and deed. I felt uncomfortable, however, I find it necessary to adjust my life again. It maybe due to changes in priorities again, especially when a huge chunk of my life is missing.

I have not been able to really go and think about other matters, as datelines of projects and reports are coming nearer and nearer. Moreover, I've been drowning myself with lots of work to do to take my mind off some other matters.

A lady asked me to re-look into my priorities by looking at (what she deem as significant questions) 2 questions. Namely,
1) Reasons why you want to go back?
2) Reasons why you should let go?
Well, I didn't really go and think about it, but I don't know whether I should either.

Have you ever felt that your conscience is preventing you from going after another aim or target in life? I always do, and it sucks big time to feel that way. But I am glad it stays at times, especially when it comes to making the right decisions and preventing me from being led astray. But most of the time, it hurts like crazy.

School has not been very much interesting besides going for tutorials, lectures and gym. Moreover, as students, we have to work hard, study smart and use our brain juices to do home works and revisions for our examinations. Ganbatte Ganbatte!

Life is kinda emo these days as I have been seeing other people being emo also. If possible, I would like to help these people, however, there is also a limit to my abilities. Thus I always ask them to refer to the Father. He is always reliable and there is NOTHING that He can't do.

Something has been bothering me for a long time. It's not that I do not have confidence in myself (but most of the time, no...), however it's the way I present myself as a 'leader' to educate and discipline the boys. I'm honestly ignorant to parent's complain and such. But I find it increasing difficult to tell the boys their bad points directly without having the feeling that this very boy may misrepresent and misinterpret the meaning to their parents and I get shit out of it. I mean, as 'educators', we are to teach the leaders and human resources of tomorrow about values and attitude and such. However, as each generation moves on, people tend to seem 'uneducated' (in a way). Code of conduct such as values instilled (loyalty, honesty, passion, courageous and etc) are not as common seen!
I pray to God, that whatever I did to the boys and other juniors under my command would turn out to be something meaningful as well as educating.

I greatly appreciate those friends that hear me out as well as friends who accept me for who I am (despite me not knowing who I really am). For those who I offended before, sorry to say, if I have apologise to you, we are at quits. for those who I didn't even apologise, that shows how hack-care I am!

To the one and only, I still do, and very much. I can't let it go yet and I doubt I will. I don't know how long more I can take this pain, but there seems to be no other sensible way for me to move on. It hurts to imagine about the negative things that you might be doing now, but I can't help but keep it to myself.

There will be major changes in my life soon. I can feel it, but time and place and when it actually comes, I leave it up to HIM.